Tonight

two months ago
life felt different
I felt different
walking into the theatre
excited to hear the music of
Amy and Emily, the Indigo Girls
I knew who I was
what I was
but felt like
an interloper
not a fraud, but unsure
could I possibly belong
afraid to make eye contact
afraid someone might see me
ask questions I was
afraid to answer
yet, I felt at home
a sense of tribe
of commonality
wanting to pitch a tent
stay until the dawn came
afraid the moment
would slip away
never to return

tonight Tonight Self-Portrait
walking into the café
excited to hear the stories of
Ivan E. Coyote and S. Bear Bergman
I am confident
in my own skin
I primped, I preened
enjoying the feel of my hair
savouring each moment
dressing to please myself
open to another’s gaze
curious, ready to explore
should the opportunity arise
but on my terms
not desperately seeking
hoping the attention
of some man, any man,
would mark me as acceptable

tonight I know
I am queer
I am femme
I am enough